The End of an Era

Well, it's embarrassing looking back on my last post.

It's officially in the second half of 2019 now, and many things have changed since then. Mostly for the better, I would say, but creatively I have not made much progress. Objectively, it hasn't been a productive year yet, but there are many things that have been resolved that made me feel like, ah, at least there is some progress. Overall, it feels like that some loose ends are finally getting the ending they deserve, and that tons of new beginnings were waiting just right behind them.

Firstly, I am typing this on my barely one month old MacBook Pro. To be finally able to own a portable computer that I can work with and bring with me all the time is definitely one of the biggest highlights of my year. It means a lot creatively that this is an available option, as I used to be stuck with my iPad mini (which I still can't get used to typing on), a work laptop or the desktop at home that isn't portable and also occupied most of the time I am available. I got a great deal on the MacBook, so although it was painful to spend such a huge amount of money, I am more glad than anything else.

Secondly, I've started to get treatment on my sleep apnea that I've been putting off for so long. The reason why I kept pushing it back was because of being skeptical on the effects and the possibiity of having to use that machine for the rest of my life. However, the very first night got me convinced, and I believe my family members were very surprised with the results as well. Although in the first few weeks of sleeping with the CPAP I did not feel any major difference, I can actually feel some difference now. Just that after this month of rental, I have to buy one on my own and it will be another huge sum of money involved T__________T.

Thirdly, I went to Korea in May in hopes of having ideas of my future path, and I am now very sure that I want to be there for a while, if not for ever. There is still some uncertainty in this path, but the end of the tunnel seems near now.

Lastly, which is also the reson why I decided to write this, is that I finally got my phone number changed. After all the dumb things that happened with my last telco, I kind of held on to the hopes that I could get my old number back for quite a while. Since my first phone in 2004, this is only the third number I have. My first one only lasted me for a year, and likely in the hands of someone else now; and I have used the second number for the last 14 years. It kind of felt like giving up that number was equivalent to giving up to some things that I have held on in life for the longest time, and that I was cutting off relations with people that I cannot bear to finally. Being my emotional self, it was hard to accept it, to be honest. But I've done it now; no matter what lies ahead, and if my past catches up with me, it will entirely be up to God then.

If I lose them forever, I'll take it that it's your wish, God.

What's left now may not be much, and it may not be all good, but I believe that it is the most precious. Memories, people, whatever.

And it's with unloading heavy luggage that I can go further.

3:49am, it's time I caught some sleep. It was great talking to you, let's meet soon again.